大陆民间英语

[老黄]

一天来了个老外，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，
就面带微笑的：“hello?”
老外：“hi.”　
前台小姐：“you　have　what　thing?”　
老外：“can　you　speak　english?”　
前台小姐：“if　i　not　speak　english,　i　am　speaking　what?”　
老外：“can　anybody　else　speak　english?　”
前台小姐：“you　yourself　look.　all　people　are　playing, no　people　have　time,　you　can　wait,　you　wait,　you　not　wait,　you　go.”
老外：“good　heavens.　anybody　here　can　speak　english?”
前台小姐：“　shout　what　shout,　quiet　a　little,　you　on　earth　have　what　thing.”　
老外：“i　want　to　speak　to　your　head.”
前台小姐：“head　not　zai. you　tomorrow　come.”

[老黄]

A不小心踩到B的脚，连忙道歉。
A: I am sorry.
B: I am sorry too!
A: I am sorry three!
B: ?? Hei, what are you sorry for?
A: （更紧张）I....I am sorry five!！！

[珊]

哈,好可愛~!

[老黄]

A: Good afternoon.
B: Good afternoon, can I help you?
A: May I know what is the time difference between Beijing and New York.
B: Just a minute.
A: Thank you.

A便挂上电话。